Karen Keller

speaking up...

catching up…

I am now in San Fransisco and am staying with a dear friend, Tammie.
But I am getting way ahead of myself, let me back up and fill you in on my travels.
I left Seattle/Woodinville where I stayed with my dear friends Wendy and Travis for 11 days; two people who have been very instrumental in supporting me through this transition, I can’t ever thank them enough!

While in the Seattle area, I re-connected with Wynne, who is making this planet a better place to live, through her tireless efforts to love and rescue dogs, pigs, and “anyone” else in between. I appreciate you Wynne.

One of my main priorities in Seattle was to get my Jeep, which I had shipped there, and get it ready for the road. Travis hooked me up with his friend and mechanic, Scott; and he assigned Jerad to the task of patching up Latisha (my Jeep) and making sure she was road safe and ready. She was in need of a bit more maintenance and repair than I had hoped for, but Scott lessened the pain by offering discounts that helped tremendously. Feels great to have Latisha healthy and running sweet. Hat’s off to you Scott, and Jerad!
Latisha and I headed out with excitement and full of energy, we were finally on the road on our way to Portland.

I arrived into Portland just in time to meet my friend Richie for lunch, downtown at Harlows, an amazing vegetarian restaurant. True to Portland, it was raining, and parking was a bit of a challenge, but I managed to park and stay dry.  My visit with Richie was inspiring, as always. I have watched him grow into an amazing young man, sure to make a solid mark in this world. He is a composer, and is experiencing life opening doors for him to continue to follow his passion for writing music. His enthusiasm for life and music is infectious.

On Saturday I met up with Laura Berman, a singer songwriter who has the voice of an angel. We met on Maui, at a retreat she was co-facilitating with Eve Hogan at The Sacred Garden. What an inspiring and super charged meeting we had seeing each other again. Thanks Laura.

My friend Darcy, who lives in Portland, graciously offered to let me stay with her,  and her “girls” (2 Pit Bulls)  I had never gotten to know a pit bull up close and personal, they were both amazing. They both greeted me with gusto! And once I “passed” the “sniff test” I was their best friend. I spent my evenings sandwiched between the two of them on the sofa, Juniper (all 95 lbs of her) behind me on the back of the sofa, and Mira (all 65 lbs of her) in front of me on my lap. I have never been so loved. 🙂 IMG_1149IMG_1147

Apparently they kept looking for me, after I left.  The four of us had a blast, and I am ever so grateful for the hospitality and connection, with Darcy and her girls.

 

There is a lot more to write, but I have procrastinated enough trying to get this much posted, so I will sign off for now.

Thank you to all who have supported me on this journey!

It has been a great trip so far, lots of connection with friends and family.

Karen

 

 

 

Distractions

I have done everything I know to keep busy enough, to keep from sitting down to write. Ugh! Wouldn’t be a problem if I was ok with that, but I’m not.
Why is it that I continually not do what it is that I really want to be doing? And when I don’t follow through with something, why can’t I just be ok with not doing it?
I suppose this is an age old question, with many answers.

Feeling a bit more inspired watching  The Long Way Round on Netflix. A story of two best friends riding motorcycles around the world.    Super fun show, I recommend it.

I am about to head out on my own road trip finally. I am planning to leave on Friday morning and head to Portland. It will be my first travel in my Jeep ( Latisha) since I left Maui. I have spent the last two days getting Latisha ready for the road, or I should say my mechanic has been getting her ready. I found there were a few more things needing to be fixed than I had anticipated, but it is done I am ever so grateful!

I have had a wonderful time here in Woodinville with my friends, and their family. It has been insightful and relaxing. And I am ready to move on to the next adventure. I am looking forward to seeing friends in Portland and spending a few days exploring.

Life continues to support my trip with many blessings, and I am grateful!

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Suiting up and Showing Up…

Today I am feeling a bit out of sorts, for no particular reason. Can’t even seem to find the words… somedays it is just about “suiting up and showing up”

I was reminded of something I read once about the Trapeze and  the time between, as a void that is often very uncomfortable. So how do I find a way to move through it and trust that “this too shall pass”?

For me this is about doubt and not trusting myself. I have tools today to help me move through this, and am still searching,                I believe  you can never have too many “tools”

This was a draft I had saved ( on Sept. 26th.) before I left Maui.  It seems to apply to me now, more in the way of growth, than doubt.  The only doubt I really have this morning is, whether or not to go forward with building a bed in my Jeep and exactly how to do that. Home Depot, here I come.  A “Cadillac (Jeep) problem” for sure.

Not to say I am 100% without doubt about this transition, but I am I still feel very sure that I am on the “right” path,  and at the same time, this path seems to make no sense at all.  Today I am ok being on the “trapeze”.

Yesterday I went on my first hike (of this trip) and it was a real physical challenge for me. About halfway up the trail, I found myself questioning whether I would make it or not. My body, seemed to be rebelling against the challenge, but was it really my thoughts instead? I was unsure of which to listen to, so instead of just giving up, I spoke up, got the keys to the car, and made an alternate plan in case I was unable to make it. Knowing I have a choice, is still somehow a surprise, and a welcome relief.

Wendy’s daughter asked if a walking stick would be helpful, and offered to help me find one, I declined the offer. Moments later, as I trailed behind, and as I passed by a possible walking stick candidate, the suggestion began to seem like a good idea. I then began earnestly looking, and the first stick I pulled from the under brush seemed to be made for me. A burst of energy and new resolve to get to the top of the trail surged through me.

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I had reassured my hiking buddies to go ahead and I would either meet them at the top, or back at the car; so I was alone on the trail with a new skip in my step, and a desire to finish what I started. I did get to the top. It was definitely worth the effort, a magnificent view, and a real sense of accomplishment.

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Suit up and show up, be willing to get a little help from your friends, and a walking stick is a great tool to help you get to the top.

Adventure begins…

After spending a month traveling to Kansas, Arkansas, and Florida visiting family, and friends, I am now in Seattle/Woodinville WA. in a friends RV for 1-2 weeks. I will be “hitting the road” west and south, when I leave here.
It has been a whirlwind of letting go, packing, shipping and organizing, and packing some more! I am happy to be with my Jeep again and in a space I can call “my own” for a few moments.
I have had a month of amazing moments with family and friends and I feel loved and supported.

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Spending time with my parents in Florida at the “Rock Creek RV Park” was amazing.
It was an experience of retirement culture at it finest. A place where people seem to “dance as if no one is watching” Refreshing and inspiring, and I am very grateful to have been able to have this experience with my parents. These people know how to have FUN!

I have a sense of peace, curiosity, and wonder.
Time to be alone has caught up with me, and so the real adventure begins…

A final farewell to

Today I said a final goodbye to my sweet house in Kula. It has been a year of healing for me, and this was a magical place to do it in. I am filled with gratitude for the chance to live in this home.
A year ago, I desperately needed a place to live and work, and an angel led me to this beautiful little house.
I think the story of how this all came to be, is worth a share.
One year ago I was faced with a desperate need for a safe place to live and work, and I needed to find a place, quick.
With no time to spare, I was at a friends house and happened to mention I might want to call my old landlady to see if she had any available places to rent. This was the first person I had even asked about needing a place.
She says, I don’t know about her, but I know of the perfect place. She picked up the phone and called the property manager of this house, and said, I have the perfect renter for you. I contacted him the next day, and I went to see the house the following day, and it was a perfect fit. I find out the owners had planned for about 10 years to come to Maui to live in their home here (they lived in California) and finally they were coming. One day before their container with all their belongings was to be picked up, the husband suddenly died of a heart attack. So the surviving spouse needed a tenant, and I needed a home.
So for one year I was able to live and heal, in this peaceful, safe lovely home; and the owner was able to take the time to grieve and heal. With an ocean between us, and never meeting, or even speaking,, we have supported one another.
And now It is now her time to come to Maui and it is my time to leave.
Goodbye little sweet home, precious memories I have of you.

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I think I can, I think I can…

I have avoided this blog now for 3-4 days. Why is it so hard to commit to myself? I keep thinking that one day I will find something that “grabs” me so much that I can do it without effort; stick with it no matter what.  I have read that the only way to find inspiration is to keep writing and it will come, that one must earn the inspiration. The question is, am I willing to pay the price? What do I really have to lose?

So I today instead of telling myself I can’t, I am telling myself, I think I can, I think I can, I know I can.

fill up your cup

invincible?

There is a part of me that still believes I am invincible.

I know what feels good and is true for me, and yet I continue to have these moments of forgetting, or ignoring this.

So I had a 12,2, and 4 night, last night, meaning I was awake at all of those times, finally succumbing to the morning at 5:15. I know plenty of people who sleep like this on a regular basis, and I have as well; problem is that I am fully aware of why this might have happened to me last night.  It was ignoring the things I know that work well for me in order to get a good nights sleep, and yet I convinced myself that I didn’t need to pay attention to my needs; and when this happens, I seem to always be either surprised, or pissed off at the consequences. I understand that one nights sleep is not such a big deal, problem is that I find myself ignoring my needs in all areas of my life, it is a well developed pattern. As if  I am invincible, that I can “push” through anything, and bounce back. I have continued to rush through life, pushing aside any uncomfortable physical and emotional feelings; but  as I do my work and grow, more is revealed, and the subtle lies I tell myself are becoming increasingly harder to hide.

Good news is that I have finally begun to see the pattern, and that is the beginning of being able to make positive changes.

“I don’t know till I know, and once I know, I can’t not know”.

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Great days…

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seemed to be going your way? It always seems to take me by surprise me when it does happen. So yesterday was one of those days, worthy of a recap.

As you know I woke to terrific news about my new Great nephew, Kash, that is always a great way to start the day. It had me reflecting about my connection with my family and how grateful I am to have them. I felt sad that I am so far away, but the gratitude seemed to override the sadness. I found myself moving in a positive direction from that. All day, my encounters with my clients and friends seemed to go smoother than “normal”. Was it the family connection, or was it my gratitude for the connection? Is it possible to feel one and not the other? What makes the difference? Is it really possible to  great days when we want? Is it just a matter of perspective like “they” say? I am beginning to think it really is true, that is my choice, and my choice only. Granted “bad” things do happen, and some of those things are out of our control, but most of life we do have a choice.

So, today is a new day, and I wake to a calm peaceful home, I am safe, warm and rested. I have everything I need, and I know I am loved. Is there any reason not to have a great day, I think not.

Today I choose to see the best in myself and others. Today is a great day…

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New life

I woke this morning to news of a new great nephew! He was born this morning at 12:57AM His name is Kash Aaron Close and he weighed 9 lbs 1 oz. It has me once again reflecting on the importance of family tribe,  how lucky I am, and how much I miss them.

There is a longing to be with my family, especially when events like this take place. It is a conscience effort on days like this to stay present and not let these feelings take over; and “make it all about me”… The truth is I am super happy for my nephew and his wife.

So my challenge today is to be present with myself, and to be grateful. Really shouldn’t be so hard, I have a lot to be grateful for. My life has taken me on many twists and turns, it has not been boring. Today marks a new upward twist, with a new life. There is a sense of  hope and excitement , breathing new life into all of us.

Welcome to the world!!! Kash Aaron Close! We are glad you are here!

Kash Aaron Close

 

day one…

I am starting this blog to make a commitment to me, to write.

I spend countless hours thinking and searching for inspiration and want to start sharing that with the world. I feel as if I have something to share and am ready to do that.

Just this morning I listened to Jonathan Fields interviewing Elizabeth Gilbert, it was amazing. She has just written a new book titled Big Magic and it is all about connecting to your creative spirit. I can’t wait to read it!

I also read a bit more on the book by Robert Burney called Codependency Recovery Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light; Empowerment Freedom and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing. This guy is amazing, I am really resonating with his experience. I do hope to work one on one with him soon.

Mom’s 80th today and we should have a new member of the family as well. Kayla (and Zach) are in labor as I write. My mother spent her birthday going for a ride in a Travel Air bi-plane(open cockpit!) topping off the day my father took my mother sailing, when I called they were on the boat. I do love that my parents continue to live life to the fullest!

Because Jonathan Fields posed about Scott’s death, I was given the courage to finally make this commitment to myself and actually start writing.

Thank you to Scott Dinsmore for creating this tool and I am so happy I found this before it is no more. To your family, please know his death has not kept him from continuing to inspire others. His Living Legend Lives on!

So this is my first day, and I am really happy I have finally begun this adventure…

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